WTF Penis Facts

  1. It is possible to fracture your penis  Well move over spiders and all my teeth falling out, this is my new number one nightmare.  Signs might include a cracking sound, immediate loss of the erection, or the development of dark bruising of the penis due to blood escaping the cylinder. Most injuries occur during violent intercourse.  But there are also cases where men injured themselves by falling out of bed with an erection.  Who’s falling out of bed with an erection?  That sounds to me like when they got to the doctor and he was like hey how did you break your penis?  Well it wasn’t because i was hitting it with a hammer that’s for damn sure.
  2. A Male Fetus Can Get Erections In The Womb  It’s Gotta be pretty cool to be a baby.   You’re just sitting there in like a 360 degree hot tub, you don’t even have to chew because you’re getting all your food fed through your belly button and you get a bunch of boners all the time.  Sounds like the womb is the most comfortable place of all time.  The most comfortable i can get is lying in bed with a sleep mask on and i still have to yell at my neighbors for using a leaf blower at 8 in the morning.  My favorite part of this is imagining the happy couple at the doctors office with the sonogram.  They do the scanny thing and the baby shows up on the screen? You know baby max was just like oh hey guys, check it out! Hey mom, can you eat some more hawaiian pizza?  I’m starving Thanks
  3. Foreskins can be used to make skin grafts for burn victims. One foreskin can produce 23,000 sq meters of grafted skin.  God is there anything a dick can’t do?  They help you write your name in snow, now you’re growing skin grafts for burn victims.  The nobel prize should be arriving in the mail any day now.
  4. Only around 30% of the world’s penises are circumcised.  In the US, the number is close to 80%, Whenever people argue about circumcision, it’s pretty clear what their dick looks like.
  5. It’s possible for a human male to get an erection after dying  When i die i really hope i can come back as a ghost and scare the shit out of all my friends.  Just haunt them whenever and wherever i can, but if i can’t come back as a literal ghost, getting a death boner would be pretty cool too.

  6. Before there was Viagra, there were monkey testicle transplants  In order to cure impotence, doctors in the 1900s began experimenting with xenotransplantation: surgically transplanting testicle glands from chimpanzees and baboons into male humans.  By the way, it didn’t work.  Who’s crazier here, the doctor that went to medical school for years only to churn out this lunatic idea or the guy who’s actually like ‘yea dude, go for it.” I’m pretty sure if your doctor is pitching you a monkey ball transplant, it might be time to find a different guy.  Maybe drop him down a star or two on the old Yelp rating.

  7. Circumcision gained popularity in the 19th century in order to combat masturbation. Oh you like playing with your dick?  Well how about we cut part of it off!  Seems like weird reasoning, like what do you do if you want people to stop playing the piano or stop wearing hats

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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